Energized

So, do you ever wonder what energizes you? Of course you do. As I was eating this evening I asked myself why am I so amped and ready to go? Is it the eggs, toast, hash browns, and sausage? Nope. Is it just I am an overly energetic person? Not anymore, ask my wife. Well as I thought more, hence the picture, I realized it is because of you the reader, listener. I really must confess I have been down in the dumps for a few years. It had to do with all my friends. Now don't take this wrong. I had lost touch with so many friends. I didn't have the close bonds that I used to have. As many of you know I have always had many friends. Many of you don't realize just how much you have meant to me over the years. A dear friend passed last year and I could not attend the funeral. I still have not forgiven myself for that. One of my foster mothers recently passed and I met with family members that I had not seen in 40 years. Do I sound old? I have been on a mad rush to reconnect with old friends. Not for necessarily the reminiscing but the pure friendships I enjoyed. To apologize for possible wrong doings also. Dose this mean that I am planning on leaving soon? NO WAY. I really understand the power of friends. Although my family is a great boost to my life it is also a responsibility factor and it is difficult to tell or really show your 2 year old what a good friend I am. I am a firm believer that the family is the central part of my core. I also understand that I have to be a parent more than a friend. Hence the dilemma. I recently made contact with a dear friend that said something to me that hit me funny. They said that they remember me being introspective. I sat there for a bit and realized yep that's me. Hence the Blog. Hence, I wonder if I am using it right. Maybe I will ask Fezzik. He will know. So I went over a profile test I took for one of my classes and it says I am Individualistic, A Developer, An Achiever, and A WOO. (Woo means to bring out traits from other people). So I had to agree. I want others to succeed. I want others to enjoy. Does that mean at my expense? No, I just want people to rise to their potential. Someone told me over 20 years ago if I quit the commitment I was in that I would be a failure the rest of my life. For so long I believed it. I felt like a failure. Sometimes even in marriage I felt that way because I was not the best provider considering my potential. I always thought I would write songs to comfort people. To let them know that others felt as they did. That I could change their life around and make them happy. (maybe after I retire I will try that) Now I know that the Lord was preparing me or allowing things to hit me so i could be prepared for my current course of action. I know that I will be a great nurse. I will care for my patients. I will not be there just to pick up a paycheck. I look forward to the day when I can help someone even though they may revile me but I will care for them no matter what. So you my friends are an integral part of my life. I know that I will rekindle friendships beyond the veil also. This life is so short and there is so much to do. The temple helps me realize that I can not achieve all that is in my brain but that I need to be on the right course. I have found family members to do genealogy for that I always thought I would never be able to do. What a blessing. Am I rambling on yet? So in answer to the question what energizes me. Life, Love, Family and you my friends.